http://www.problemExchange.comThe most recently problems added to ProblemExchange.com(c) 2006, Uretopia Limited, All rights reserved.5The thing is, i'm 15 and about 10 months ago i started growing LOADS and i'm not fat,i just suddenly got really muscular. Over the last i'd say 6 months i've developed a six pack and all my muscles have grown really big. Other people might think it is cool but it troubles me because I do not attend a gym and i've never touched a dumbell. It is really awkward because i used to be bullied forbeing small and now i am bigger than everyone else at school. The sporty boys come upto me in the changing room and ask me how i work out, but i'm really a nerd and i'm sure page turning isn't working out. I want to know if this is normal because it is really freaking me out, my parents think i've taken up bodybuilding or something and when i look at myself in the mirror, i think i've been photoshopped.Can you give me some advice? http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29610http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29610Sat, 04 Feb 2012 06:11:55 GMTA family member of mine has had a child at a young age ( I think 16 ) with no home, no job and no partner. Her partner is part of the childs life but wont get custody. ( long story) She doesnt love the kid, which is awful enough because he is an amazing kid, and she neglects him. She hops from house to house, staying with friends, and when she does get a council flat she ends up getting kicked out. She gives the kid to her mum ( who works full time ) and just dissapears for days without any way to contact her. Her mum has tried to get custody but she refused because she wouldnt get her benefits. Child welfare has been called on her several times ( at one point she didnt even have a cot or a pram for the kid ) but when they come to check her she finds the minimal things she needs. The child is a bright, lovily kid but he needs to go to somebody that can give him some structure and some love. She takes him to the pub and sits outside with him and her friends without putting a jumper or coat on him. She just doesnt care. Basically, is there anything I can do? She doesnt love him, or care for him, and though child services have been involved nothing has been done. It's just so frustrating!http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29609http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29609Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:59:02 GMTHi there. I have two very close friends (a boy and a girl). The girl (Sara) fancies the boy (Josh). However, they are not friends with each other and Josh absolutely detests Sara. Knowing Sara would not be able to cope with this, whenever she tries to talk to Josh and he runs off, says something rude or something similar, I keep telling her he's just worried he'll embarrass her and he does like talking to her really. To make matters even worse, Josh fancies someone else. Sara keeps thinking if she just chats to him enough, he'll eventually want to go out with her. I'm kind of like the middle man here and Sara's upset because I don't keep asking him to meet her and Josh is fed up because I keep forcing him to talk to her / encouraging her to approach him. I know I need to tell Sara he doesn't feel that way but how can I do this without hurting her feelings and/or ending my friendship with Sara or alternatively, force Josh into chatting with her more and end up finishing my friendship with him (or potentially both of them). Please help!http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29607http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29607Sat, 04 Feb 2012 02:39:19 GMTHi i am a 24 year old girl, i have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, we love each other a lot. We were out together with friends, i kissed my best friend (who is a girl) in front ofy boyfriend as a joke and he laughed. We got a bit drunk, i know this is not an excuse and we kissed properly later on, i was not trying to hide this from my boyfriend and it meant nothing, i have not got feelings, nothing what so ever in that way for my friend. I feel so guilty that i have hurt my boyfriend in this way, i dont know how to help him trust me again. I have nevet ever done anything like this before. Please help, thank You.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29602http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29602Sat, 04 Feb 2012 02:39:26 GMTI met a girl whilst we were both working abroad together, I thought she was very good looking from the moment I met her, after copious amounts of drink on a night out abroad, the both of us had a brief moment where we hit it off together and nearly ended up in bed. After exchanging kisses and compliments outside her hotel room door she stopped it going any further. She did because she has a boyfriend whom she met last year and of course, she wants to remain loyal to him.  However, I can't stop thinking about her and the moment we had together. I don't know why! Is it because I've fallen for her? Should I really go chasing after her, even if she's in a happy relationship? Maybe it's just the heat of the moment? Do I just need to let it go? Help!http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29599http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29599Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:41:35 GMTI'm a 23 year old female graduate and, to cut a very long story short, I've recently become extremely isolated and lonely. My situation is one where I live hundreds of miles away from my family and friends. I socialise occasionally here, but have no real friends, only work colleagues. Regardless of who I'm with, I feel lonely and isolated. I constantly think of excuses not to go to events, and when I can't think of a reason out, I wonder how long it is until I can excuse myself to go home. I don't know why I suddenly feel so isolated. I used to be a social butterfly, arranging events and organising to see friends- now I have a feeling of dread every time I know a social occasion is coming up. I love my home here and being by myself- when I'm on my own I feel perfectly content, its only in social situations when I begin to panic, then I upset myself even more by wondering why I'm becoming a 'loner'. I constantly want to go home to my family, but feel that doing so will be juvenile and the easy way out. I've had a history of depression, on and off, for the past few years- have been to the GP about it before, but the answers are always the same- exercise, go out more, get a hobby. I already do all those things, yet I have never felt so low. If anyone has experienced similar feelings, I would really appreciate advice.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29598http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29598Fri, 03 Feb 2012 06:01:17 GMTShe's friends with some of my other friends, but for some reason she finds me really annoying and doesn't like me. Now, I don't know why she doesn't like me so much, I've never done anything particularly annoying around her, as far as I'm aware anyway. The only thing I can think of was this one time where me and her best friend were joking around and laughing and she just got up and walked off to sit on her own. She never speaks to me and I have to sit elsewhere in class because apparently even being near her annoys her. Now my other friends like me as well as her but it means we have to split our friendship group in two and sit on separate sides of the classroom. I barely know this girl, so why does she dislike me that much? Surely just being near her and getting on with my work isn't that awful?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29597http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29597Fri, 03 Feb 2012 05:47:30 GMTI am unlucky enough to be on an ingeus course,to cut a long story short i have a criminal record for gbh,ect.I am not proud of it and have told my advisor,she still insists i apply for jobs requiring crb checks,saying to me i might get the job.she has not asked me to lie but if i dont go for the jobs i will be sanctioned.This seems rather pointless and is not plescent for me to explain to am employer every time i get am interveiw.I know i was silly when younger,but can i tell them im not doing this anymore.Id rather consentrate on jobs i have a chance of getting.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29595http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29595Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:38:18 GMTFor some time now my boyfriends been asking for a threesome with another girl. I agreed the other night and we invite my friend round with the intention of asking (I thought shed say no) we all got drunk and had sex several times which was fun at the time but looki g back at it I realise he just used it as an excuse to sleep with my mate. I would say he spend nearly 90percent the time shagging her. He came three times and all three was with her and not once with me. I feel like he's cheated and it hurts. But I agreed and now I can't get them out my head. I'm refusing to speak to my friend because she obviously enjoyed it too much with the things she let him do to her. In really lost and. Concussed what can I do? I'm 17 and my bf 25 would this be because the age gap? http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29594http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29594Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:33:49 GMTMy daughter fell pregnant at a terrible point in her life. She was 27 at the time, had just fled from her husband (horrible bully of a man, never took to him) but had been having an affair (a fact that we have tried to hide from the rest of our family, the shame would be unbearable) with a man who she then fell pregnant too. She found out she was pregnant less than 2 weeks after fleeing her husband. She told me and her auntie (my sister) in confidence and I told her she needed to get it taken care of, to have a termination. It was early on, she was only about 8 weeks so in my eyes, anything could happen anyway, 1 in 3 pregnancies suffer a miscarriage so there was nothing to say this wouldn't happen. But I asked her to have the sense to deal with it now instead of falling into the statistics of being a single mother as I strongly doubted the relationship with the new chap would last any length of time...I also told her not to tell him just in case he didn't want her to terminate. Basically it was all for the right reasons, she was in a terrible flat, a terrible area and at a terrible point in her life. It wouldn't have been right to bring a child into it and she'd have ended up just another single mother. So she did as I asked, had the termination, I picked her up from the hospital, dropped her at her flat and left...I didn't like the area so didn't want to stay long, also she needed to go to bed. The new chap then looked after her until she was better thinking she'd been in for a different procedure (he was foreign so didn't understand anything other than "woman's procedure") which I was relieved about. She suffered emotionally and was in a lot of pain but I knew it had been the right thing for her. Well in the end, their relationship lasted longer than I thought it would, I actually believe he probably loved her but had to move away so they broke up in the end but still stay in touch. He never knew about the termination though. However, I now feel guilty as it's begining to look like my daughter may have trouble conceiving in the future. She was suffering a bit of discomfort and when they took her in they have found scar tissue that could cause major problems for carrying a child...basically her chances of miscarriage are high. I felt sorry for her as she looked so crest fallen. She's never met anyone since that she'd like to have a child with and is heading towards 35. I think she see's her chances of being a mother lost. I have to say, I've never been keen to be a grandmother, would make me feel old I suppose, but she'd never really let on that she'd like a child and now it's so clear that she would that my heart breaks for my poor girl. I'm wondering if I should investigate counselling for her? She never had any after the termination despite being low, we went with the approach of "the less people who know the better" but I couldn't relate to how she was feeling so we didn't talk about it either, I just told her she'd done the right thing. Now I'm not so sure?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29589http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29589Fri, 03 Feb 2012 09:37:07 GMTI have a lovely husband and our adorable children, a 3 year old girl and a 9 month old boy, very happy family set up. I consider myself to be a mature enough person, at 34 I'd say I'm quite lucky and happy. But 4 weeks ago, my ex (an important one, not just some silly little relationship) who I had loved dearly and who, despite it being a mutual break-up because he was moving to the middle east for work (he works for a popular NGO in field work, another thing I'd loved about him), I will always be friends withsemicolon turned up out of the blue. We'd lost touch for a few years, friends do sometimes do that after all. I'd assumed he'd met someone and married as I had done and thought of him sometimes, but being a mother it became a rare thought. And 4 weeks ago he turned up at my work, asked if we could go for a coffee. Long story short, all the old feelings have come back and I'm cut up by it all. I know I've been acting differently towards my husband and I can't explain to him why. My ex and I have met for coffee every other day since, just as friends, my husband knows about it, and it's meant to be just friends but I can tell by the way he looks at me, by the subtle hints, jokes and double entendre's .... he's thinking the same thing....how long until it happens? I can't bear to be this way but being with him again is stirring something up in me and it's not coffee. Help!!!http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29588http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29588Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:59:52 GMTI'm thinking of paying a visit to someone who I had a relationship with but also worked (and still work with, just in different offices now) with. We've always stayed in touch and been affectionate towards each other despite having dated other people, have even spent evenings in steamy conversation with one another so I know there's still attraction there. We didn't have a bad break up either, it's just that we were moving in different directions and neither of us believe in long distance relationships. I have a few days off in april and was thinking I might pay him a visit as I need to get him to sign off on some contracts anyway. This could of course be done by couriers, I don't need to take them to him, but I thought what the hell, two birds, one stone. Basically, I want to see if there really is something still there or if I'm thinking too much about it. If I go down and he's dating someone I'll of course be devastated but I suppose since it's a few months away, I'll know before I go and can cancel if I have too. I just want to see him, want it to be a surprise too. But is this a really bad idea?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29586http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29586Fri, 03 Feb 2012 04:10:38 GMTi have financly helped my girlfriend ! Even bought her a house which she lives in with niece! While i am living at aged 40 and living with parents at home and stuck in dead end job ! i was left my money by grandparents which she has used and left me with nothing ! My parents always tell me that i give all my money away and have nothing for myself ! What shall I do ? She is also very cold to me and only ring when she wants something?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29574http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29574Thu, 02 Feb 2012 08:40:45 GMTEssentially, I'm falling head over heels in love with a man. But I know, deep down, that nothing will ever happen between us despite how often we just talk about nothing in particular, and how much we have in common, and all of that stuff that actually makes my heart flip. I know this sounds like a cliche, and trust me I hate cliches, but it's true and I have no clue as to what I'm doing. But there's another guy that I dated over summer, but he kissed someone else and I ended it. I've seen him twice sincesemicolon the second was a party and he ended up with his arm around me and wanting to kiss me. I didn't kiss him, but deep down I almost wanted to. Because spending time with him in that proximity just reminded me of being with the first guy. But I don't know whether it is all just about him, or whether I do still have feelings for my ex. I'm so confused, and I've probably confused you too. Please, what do you think I should do?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29571http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29571Wed, 01 Feb 2012 04:33:09 GMTim 15 years old and have been single for 2 years, i go out every weekend drinking with mates and just having a laugh but when i get close to people i end up panicking and dont want to be with them anymore, i was seeing a boy a few months ago and he ment alot to me but for some reason i had to end it with him cos i was scared to be with him:/ its only started to happen since my last boyfriend! i want to be with someone but i cant if i have to end it with them for being scared, please help?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29567http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29567Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:27:11 GMTRight I used to like a mate of mine I stopped liking him when he told me he likes some other girl. Recently I kept my distance but the other day he rang me at 3am to print of some airline tickets when I was asleep and I helped him out by going to the 24 hour uni and printing out the tickets we stayed up until 6am outside my place talking and him measuring his hand against mine and telling me to touch his arm muscles.But then a few days back he rang me saying can you pay my phone bill and I will give you the money back tommorw and I did and he did give me the money back and soon as he got back from holiday an hour later he rang me I dont understand why I would be one of the first peopel to ring if there no feelings there?Wouldnt you ring that girl that you liked for a year and a half instead? what does this all mean?Does he like me?Does he Know what he is doing?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29566http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29566Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:33:19 GMT This boy at school calls me names everyday. He says I'm big headed even though I'm the shyest girl in my class, and he says my breath stinks and laughs at me. He hasn't been bothering me much since, and most of the time I forget, but when he called me big headed today (on Facebook apparently I am, and on bbm?) it really got to me. Help, I keep hearing his voice in my head, calling me names and it's just upsetting me so much.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29565http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29565Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:06:35 GMTI know a lot of people have problems with their mother in law but mine really does hate me. She's italian, catholic of course, my husband is from a big family, 4 brothers 2 sisters. All are married to good catholic italians, popping kids out and doing everything that his parents did. He came to the uk to study, we met, fell in love and married. I'm not religious at all, his mums first hate. I'm not italian, second hate point. Much as I like italian food, I also like chinese, indian and well other food basically...big no no in her eyes. I'm not a size 10 (now she's a big lady but her other daughters in law and her own girls, despite having kids, are all slim and gorgeous) so she makes jokes about cooking me like a swine because I'm a size 16 (I'm nearly 6 foot with it, taller than the other wives by quite a bit). I have red hair and pale freckly skin...she hates it. We don't have kids yet so she makes snide remarks that he should have found a more fertile girl. She basically picks at everything. But she especially hates that we stay in edinburgh...too far away in her eyes. I can do nothing right in her eyes despite my best efforts. But what makes it worse is that my husband is well and truly under her thumb, as are all the children. She's the boss, always will be. When they try to stand up to her she does one of two things, refuses to talk to them ever again until they buckle, or she cries and they feel awful. He just won't stand up to her. The other daughters in law love her because she loves them and so they don't really talk to me when I'm there. I'm shunned from the girl group when we visit. I'm exhausted trying to make her like me and it's putting a strain on our marriage. How can I make her see that I'm not the devil for marrying her eldest son??http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29563http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29563Wed, 01 Feb 2012 06:20:05 GMTRight I used to like a mate of mine I stopped liking him when he told me he likes some other girl. Recently I kept my distance but the other day he rang me at 3am to print of some airline tickets when I was asleep and I helped him out by going to the 24 hour uni and printing out the tickets we stayed up until 6am outside my place talking and him measuring his hand against mine and telling me to touch his arm muscles.But then a few days back he rang me saying can you pay my phone bill and I will give you the money back tommorw and I did and he did give me the money back and soon as he got back from holiday an hour later he rang me I dont understand why I would be one of the first peopel to ring if there no feelings there?Wouldnt you ring that girl that you liked for a year and a half instead? what does this all mean?Does he like me?Does he Know what he is doing?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29561http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29561Tue, 31 Jan 2012 05:13:17 GMTOk, to cut a long story short.... Should I end my 4and a half year relationship? I've been thinking about it for months and months now and it's driving me mad. I've written down the pro's and cons.... The are 5 positives and 11 negatives, that can't be good. We don't talk, he never listens, I don't trust him 1 bit (due to past events with him), he's forever watching porn when I'm not in the house, he has no intention of even getting engaged let alone marry me (even though we have a son), he always makes snide comments about how I look, there is no spark no more between us, I find myself looking at other men and wanting attention off them and possibly an affair, I don't get on with his mum or sisters, we constantly argue..... I could go on.... Please give me advice I really need it!! Whatever it is, good or bad ....http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29560http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=29560Tue, 31 Jan 2012 01:02:05 GMT