http://www.problemExchange.comThe most recently problems added to ProblemExchange.com(c) 2006, Uretopia Limited, All rights reserved.5Dear agoney aunt I need help My name is khizzar anwar I am aged 14 from the Scotland , uk . For a while I have liked this girl called Maisie well loved her she means everything to me she is also 14 and goes to my high school , for months me and her have kinda flirted an thought she liked me but just a few days ago she started going out with this other guy , I am really sad as I have really strong feelings for her and don't know what to do plz help http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31590http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31590Mon, 14 May 2012 02:25:43 GMTHello everyone I suffer from excess body hair due to suffering from Poly Cystic Ovarian System. I do everything in my power to get rid of it, waxing and threading it mainly. I get fine blonde hairs on my face which I tend to get waxed, however I didn't have time in the past week so assumed because they weren't noticeable it would be fine. My boyfriend who lives in another city, and who I haven't seen in over a month, took me away this weekend and I thought we had a lovely time. However when I got home he texted me telling me he had a lovely time but why did I have hair on my face. I said that I usually get it removed but hadn't had time as I had been so busy, he replied saying he really liked me but the hair put him off but as long as I was getting it removed it shouldn't be a problem. I haven't replied since and he keeps messaging me asking me whats wrong. I feel really hurt and upset, why couldn't he tell me at the weekend? And what if I was the type of person who didn't want to remove them, would he just end it? I feel like out of principle I should finish things as he has no right to ask that of me. But then at least he was being honest with me? I really don't know what to do, and its not the type of thing I can talk to my friends about. http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31565http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31565Sun, 13 May 2012 02:03:33 GMTFor about 6 months now I have just had this feeling of hopelessness and sadness and I feel like my life is pointless. I've got no one to talk to about it because my family never take me seriously and I've got exams coming up and I don't know what I'm going to do as everyone expects me to do amazingly in them. I don't want to feel like this anymore, whenever I'm alone I start crying for no reason and I just want to feel like me again.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31564http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31564Sun, 13 May 2012 12:29:39 GMTMy dad recently came out of prison after serving four years of an eight year sentance for drug related issues. He has been home for almost a year. He still sells and takes drugs. I try to let him live his life and keep myself away from him but seeing the effect that his drugs have brought on the household has really made me develop a lot of physcological issues. I seem very quick to anger and the resentment i feel for my dad is at an all time high. He is making both mine and my mothers life miserable. My mother recently had a brain tumour and he hardly provided any help whatsoever which makes me despise him more. I worry a lot about my mental health as i feel I'm going to snap at any moment. I haven't really spoken to him since i was 15 and he went to prison and I just need help mentally. It feels as though I'm miserable a majority of the time because of what he is doing. Is there any way that anybody could provide any help? Thank you.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31563http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31563Sun, 13 May 2012 08:11:50 GMTI've been dating a great girl and we're due to get married soon. The problem is she has substancial debts from credit cards (about £20000) and is doing absolutly nothing towards a solution. I've explained to her that she would be wise to contact her creditors and come to an arrangement (her wage is very low), but so tells me that she can't cope with the stress of them ringing the house up. I've even told her that I'd deal with them should they ring. At the moment all the household bills are paid by me, but I'm on only an average wage-I can't hold on financially for much longer!. In a moment of pure madness I took out a loan of £10000 to help her as the payments on the loan would be lower then that of the credit card. She has been fine repaying me each month, but I've just found a creditcard statement which I paided off with the £10000 and she's starting to build up a new balance!! . I'm an easygoing guy and I don't know what to do any advice would be most appreciated!http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31562http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31562Sun, 13 May 2012 06:10:41 GMTmy Ex and I parted on not very good terms 9 years ago. since then i have moved on , got married to a wonderful person and have 2 kids. 2 years ago he messaged on my profile to apologize but i did not reply . My husaband is aware of our break up and aeverything else. Now i feel like talking to him to settle all bitterness but I am afraid to do so. Maybe my husband would not like it and what if it affects my married life. should i get in touch with my ex or not?should i talk to my husband or not?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31561http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31561Sun, 13 May 2012 06:03:36 GMThey! i'm doing engineering . i have a big problem. i'm 21 and uptill now i have not met a good friend. i make alot of friends but none of them is good. i trust them blindly, always and they break my trust by lieng etc. even now a days i'm with a girl since last 2.5 years and she lies to me alot. i dont know what to do? please help me!http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31560http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31560Sun, 13 May 2012 03:53:47 GMTThere's this guy I'm good friends with, and over the past 6/7 months I've started to become completely dependent on him. I feel this constant urge to be with him or be speaking to him all day every day. We do speak most days, although it's clear he doesn't have the same burning desire to be speaking to me 24/7. I really don't understand why I'm so obsessed with him. It's not like a crush, because I've had other crushes before and they've never been anything like this, but at the same time it kind of is. I know this is unhealthy and I don't know what to do. It's almost like I need his attention to feel good about myself - my life has become pleasing him.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31559http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31559Sat, 12 May 2012 06:57:41 GMTHi, I'm in turmoil and am in desperate need for advice. I'm a father of 3 and in a loveless marriage. I've accepted this for the sake of my children. My wife and I last had sex in 2006 when we conceived our third child. Things have been bad to worse since then and she hardly speaks to me except to tell me what I've done wrong. Although I've been unhappy I've accepted it as the price of giving me children a loving stable home. However, last year I was made redundant. After two months of frantic searching, I was lucky enough to be offered a job on a permanent basis but part time in a job share. I jumped at it as it was a job and I have really enjoyed it. The problem is I have now fall head over heels in love with the woman I job share with. I count down th hours until we have our handover. I wake up in the night aching for her. She is in my thoughts every second of every day. I know I have been unhappy but I never thought it would come to this. I am a catholic and the lady I have fallen in love with is Hindu. She is married. I am 41 and have never experienced these feelings before - I would lay down my life for her. She is also happily married so I will never ever say anything to her. I don't know how to deal with this heartbreak. I've tried everything to make my marriage work, and despite my unhappiness I wasn't looking for anyone else. But this wonderful women has knocked me sideways in love - and I desperately need advice on how to cope with this.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31556http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31556Sat, 12 May 2012 04:31:02 GMTI am 17 and have been with my boyfriend for a month and a half now. I am his first girlfriend and he is my first boyfriend. Last year rumours about him ruined a possible relationship for him, and with me he is really worried that that is going to happen, so is completely backwards in public. He has told me that he doesnt want to be a close couple at college and he knows that I am not completely happy about it. I just feel as though he is embarrassed of me at college. It got to the point where it actually upset me and I did confront him about it. He said that he doesnt care what people think, but then I dont get why he is so backwards with me at college. Unless we are pretty much in private or when its just us and my closest friends. When we're alone we're so close, and he cant keep his hands off me, but otherwise he makes me feel quite uncomfortable. He is getting better, and has now passionately kissed me outside the front of college in front of a group of my old school friends and a group of his friends. I dont know whether that was just a one off or whether that was a massive step forwards? I know he is worried that people are just going to take the mick out of him, and that both of us will get loads of stick, but surely if he cared that much about me then that wouldnt matter to him, as I dont like people taking the mick, but I get over it and ignore it because I care about him. Any suggestions as to what I should think/say/do considering I have confronted him about it. Any help would be really welcome!http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31555http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31555Sat, 12 May 2012 02:46:28 GMTBasically... I have been with my boyfriend 6 weeks now and I am having problems. I am 17 and have been single my whole life as I could never pluck up enough courage to ever have a boyfriend. I have kind of thrown myself in at the deep end as he is practically my perfect man. He has however been a bit of an idiot and has mucked me around (probably unintentionally) for about 4 months. Acted as though he liked me one week, and then I didnt exist the next. But finally we got together and I just feel uneasy. Last week we became intimate for the first time, and I had a small breakdown as I hate the idea of him touching me 'down there'... I have issues with my periods where I am almost constantly on and have explained this to him now, but I just feel he is really disappointed that he will not be able to satisfy me... when actually I am more than happy to focus on him. I just always feel odd around him because I feel that he is far too good for me, and cant believe that I've managed to get someone as good as him. I dont know what to do about my insecurities. I have since satisfied him to an extent but cant bring myself to go to 'third' (yes, I also hate these 'bases').. I just dont feel I can let myself be that vulnerable with someone. Does this mean that I am not comfortable around him? Anyone have any advice about what I should do to overcome this, or just any general advice? I know I have been a bit vague, but anything would be much appreciated! Thank you :)http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31554http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31554Sat, 12 May 2012 02:36:49 GMTI am a divorcee and mother to my 3 yr old daughter. I walked out of my marriage when my daughter was barely a month old. Mine was an "arranged" marriage (at my place, arranged marriages are the norm!). Where I come from, people are still extremely conservative and divorce is still somewhat taboo (although its on the rise in the past decade or so). 3 yrs after I took that decision, I'm still single and feel very frustrated about my situation. I have very supportive parents and I am financially independent. But there is this feeling of loneliness that never ever leaves me. Of late i'm finding more and more sadness creep over me. I try to keep busy with work, but to no avail. My parents want me to get married again, but I'm fearful...men in my community, however educated are not all that respectful towards women. It is very rare for women to be treated as equals and loved for who they are. I cannot imagine being in another abusive relationship. I keep hoping that someday I will meet that special someone, but really, I feel extremely hopeless at times. Have been feeling very frustrated and exhausted. I want to be happy for change...how do I get out of this mess? While I do want to find my life partner, I dont want it to have so much of significance in my life. After all, many people stay single all thier lives, I just wonder how they do it! http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31553http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31553Sat, 12 May 2012 11:42:48 GMTMy boyfriend is perfect. He never would ever hurt me. But still I obsess over it thinking bad things will happen. Making myself cry. We might be moving away from eachother for university and I'm scared he will want to move on or ill miss him too much. I want to enjoy the time we have left though but this is stopping me. I just sit and stare out the window and get all depressed. He has no idea. I don't know if he worries about university situation too it not. I don't want to ask him though incase I sound possessive. http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31551http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31551Sat, 12 May 2012 08:40:58 GMTI'm a 23 year old student, and my mother is out to make my life a living hell. My mother has always tried her very best to control everything about my life, from what I study, to how I look or what I do in my free time. In 2010, I moved out of the family home to continue my studies at another university, but it was close enough that I could come home every weekend. Then things started changing. In November 2010, my friends and I decided to stay in our commune for a couple of extra weeks after exams to have some fun. We went out and saw some of the sights in the town we live in and went out to a couple of parties. My mother was immediately not happy with me not coming home to her straight away and made it well known. Even at 21, I was put under house arrest for my summer holidays. Then July 2011, we decided to do something along the same lines. This time, I informed my mother well ahead of schedule that I would be speding some relaxing time with my friends after exams, and she seemed OK with that. I was also supposed to start a job up in this town, but at the last minute, the offer fell through. During this extended stay in university-town, my friends and I started partying very hard. I fell in love with the people and the atmosphere at an alternative nightclub, and we would often go there in the evenings. I also met a guy, which made my mom insanely excited, as I had never dated before, so she was relaxed about my not coming home. Then the bomb exploded. One night, a couple of my friends from university were going down to my hometown for the night to watch a popular South African band. I phoned my mother once the arrangements had been made to tell her I was coming down for the night, and that I might stay over at the house if my friends were drinking and I didn't want to drive around with them. She had a fit at me. First off, she does not like the idea of music concerts. In her mind, they are evil and people get pregnant at them. Second, she was angry that I gave her 'such short notice' about my arrival and was generally mad at me because I don't plan things 10 months ahead of time. She hates randomness or sponteneity, and this event drove her over the edge. After a huge fight that eventaully included my father as well, I came down, ended up spending the night at her instance and met up with my friends again the next day to go back to university-town. After that, things became very strained. She decided I must be a spoilt brat if I can go to music concerts, so she cut my allowance in half for the month. If I didn't have such good friends, I would have lived on nothing but bread for the next few months. Shortly after that incident, I broke up with the guy I was seeing because he was an ass, and became very close friends with the barman at my favourite nightclub. It was through this barman that I met my current boyfriend. I love this guy with all my heart and we are planning on getting married. Once again, my mother has a strong opinon of him, and wants him gone. First of all, she doesn't like the fact that he is a lot like my father. Both my dad and my boyfriend are in the construction industry, and like my dad, my boyfriend is slowly working his way up in life. My mother wanted me to come home with a guy like the first one, someone with lots of money. Turns out, guys with lots of money, also seem to do lots of drugs and expect you to do things that you don't want to. My boyfriend is a Christian, like me, but who also knows how to have a good time. All he cares about is me. He would go to the ends of the earth to make me happy, and that is what I love about him. Sure, he might not get a 6 figure salary every month, but he gets by just fine. What my mother doesn't understand about me is that I am a simple person, I don't have extravagent wants like she does. The only things I need in my life are God and the outdoors. That makes me happy. Money is great, but it is not everything. I have learnt to live on limited funds and make budgets every week. Despite this, I still live a life that makes me happy. My mother, however, can't seem to get past this. She has enforced some rediculous rules on me now. I can't get married until she says I can, which will only be after I have worked for a period of time determined by her, I have my own medical aid fund, my own pension and a bunch of other stuff. I get that all those are important, but next year it will be easier and cheaper for me to go onto my boyfriends medical aid, which will drive her nuts. She doesn't want me tied to him in any way. Also, a couple of weeks ago, I was in a car accident. She doesn't car two hoots about us, just the car. Now the insurance have written the car off (as expected), and are giving me 1/3 of the car's value. So now I have to rely on my boyfriend to drive me around in his company van. I am happy with this. I will happily take the money the insurance have given me and put it away until next year when I start working full time and use it to put down a deposit. But my mother being her, insists that I get a new car now and is having a baby on me because "I destroyed the wonderful gift she gave me". Firstly, the accident wasn't my fault at all. It was the negligence of someone else that lead to the accident, and they died, so they obviously can't pay us out for the damages. Second, I don't live that far from campus that I can't walk. I usually walk to get in some exercise anyway, so its not that big an inconvienience for me. The shops are even closer. Third, my dad paid for the car, not her. This whole situation is making me so angry, because knowing my mother, she will pocket the money from the insurance and leave me with nothing. She loves this whole 'fine' business. Last year, I moved out of my commune after an argument with the managers, so she made me give her my whole savings account to punish me for leaving the place she deemed fit for me to live. I prefer my own place now, as it is much quieter and I can come and go as I please (the commune had curfews and all that nonsense). If I had that savings (which was quite substantial after working for 2 years full time before starting at university), the car problem wouldn't be a problem. The thing is she slyly made out like I was helping her out pay my brother's university fees, promising to return it, then turned around and said I owed her for getting into trouble with the land managers. The argument we had was completely rediculous, where someone accused me of bullying them because I asked her to recycle and would complain when I found recyclable material in the bin. They had an issue with me already because they didn't like the fact that I would occasionally sleep over at my boyfriend's house (what a scandal!), but used the bullying thing as a cover to get rid of a 'slut' living on their premises. I was glad to leave at the end of last year, and my best friend is doing everything she can to leave the place because everyone is making her miserable for being my friend. Anyways, I don't know how to deal with these insane issues that my mother is creating in my life. She is trying to break me and my boyfriend up, but she will never win there. She wants me to be her, but I will never ever go down that road. I may not be the prettiest girl out there and I may not enjoy sitting around sipping tea while gossiping about other people in the neighbourhood, but I am happy. Apparently, that is a crime according to my mother. http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31547http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31547Sat, 12 May 2012 06:13:42 GMTI'm usually a sensible person but there are times (especially near that time of the month) I can go nuts. It effects relationships badly and I can feel myself starting to do it in my new one now. I've convinced myself that if I text my friend at a certain time of night saying the guy I'm seeing hasn't been in touch (he's been at work and I know this but I convince myself he's gone off me) then he'll text within 10 minutes...because he's finished his work. Also, if he's tired, that in my head means he's lost interest. I left his place this morning in a huff because he'd been too tired to have sex. I need to keep a cap on the crazy. How!?!?!?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31544http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31544Sat, 12 May 2012 05:17:26 GMTme and julia have been best mates for about 3 years now and we know absolutely everything about each other. but recently some arguments have rose about my other friends i hang around with. It's upsetting me how i spend most of my time with her and the moment I go out with my other friends she seems jealous and tries to turn things around on me. I can relate to where she's coming from though because in the past I have lied about where I was to give myself a bit of space from her. This also resulted in an argument. I need my space but she makes me feel guilty when I'm not with her and I hate arguing with her. Can anyone help? I need advice on how to handle this situation without bringing our friendship to an end or putting it under strain. Thanks Abigail http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31538http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31538Fri, 11 May 2012 06:42:52 GMTHi, my problem is that my girlfriend of 16 months is 7 months pregnant with twins. Now after initially gettin over the shock of her being pregnant when she was using the pill and me thinking i werent ready to be a dad which my family agreed with and supported wot i was sayin  we decided we were going to go for it and make a family. Now i already had a house which my dad rented off me so she watched me throw him and his partner out so we can move in. At the minute we still havent moved in but for the last 3 weeks ive been working ebery night after work and weekends to get the house ready for when babies come. All my family have been helping out too, my girlfriend or her family havent done a thing (not that i expect her to as shes pregnant) but she has fell out with me as i wanted her to come over to give an opinion on our new home, but she claimed she was too ill and uncomfortable yet she can drive to work everyday which is as far. Now i understand shes incomfortable but she should be excited about our new home and i dont see pregnancy as an illness! Well she hasnt really spoke to me and now shes bringing up all sorts sayin my family didnt want our babies and if it werent for her they wouldnt be coming! My mom is broken hearted by this comment (my family have bought loads) and shes also told her mom my mom grabbed her when she only held her hand when.we were rowing earlier on the pregnancy! So i asked to meet me for a drink last night, to discuss this. She sat there for literally 2 minutes after i said how i felt and that i wanted her and my family to be friends and she didnt want to know and stormed out the pub with a few choice words at me. The next thing i know i had her mom ranting and raving at me asking why ive made her cry!! Its now at an all time low, im doin my best, ive provided her house, im spending my savings on doin it up, she owes me 1500 pound from an overdraft i paid off for her and none of its good enough. And now her moms involved and she dont like my mom, theres just bad feeling all round!! Now i wouldnt mind but even though my mom and dad are seperated theyre both with new husband/partner and everyone gets along. My sister is married with kids, we're a well respectful family that do the right thing. Where as her nan and mom and her cousin are all single parents( their blokes ran a mile) and i can see a trend setting in! Its like they all want to be men free, anti men women, and i cant help feeling trapped and bitter. I want to do right by my twins but i cant take no more of this crap. What do i do?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31537http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31537Fri, 11 May 2012 05:27:32 GMTMy life is like a rollercoaster of emotions at the minute and i am a mess. I am 17 years old and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for just a year. I was completley head over heels in love with him, but we went through a lot. Throughout the relationship i found out he had been texting numerous other girls inappropriately, recieving pictures etc.. I forgave him time after time believing he would change but it never stopped and there was trust issues, however this didnt stop me loving him. In January we split as we had been arguing and spent a couple of months apart but decided to get back together at the end of febuary on the provision that we forgot the bad things that had happened between us before. I thought everything was fine but he recently split up with me again. What makes this worse is that my family are moving back down south in july and have given me the choice as to stay up here and live in rented accomodation for the last year of my a levels, or to move back down south with them. Im so torn. I dont believe getting back with my ex in the future would be a good idea, however it doesnt stop me caring and worrying about him because he is my first love. I want to be with my family but i dont want to leave my college friends. I feel if i stay that my ex will always have a hold on me and we will go through the same things over and over again. But i feel if i leave i will miss him like mad and he wont be there. I know he is likely to change his mind about the breakup and thats what scares me most, because once im gone, im gone and i will be 150 miles away from him and we can never be together again. I have a life here, and i love it, but half of me wants to start fresh and move on but that means creating another life. One minute i am really positive about starting a fresh and being over him, then the next i come crashing down and i feel like the whole world is on my shoulders and suddenly im confused about what i want. I feel i dont really know how i feel about the situation or what to do. Please, please help me and give me some advice. I am such a mess and i feel so isolated and alone. http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31536http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31536Fri, 11 May 2012 03:21:01 GMTAt school, there's this boy at school and one of my close friends had a massive crush on him. He really doesn't like her and he's told that to me and her, but the problem is everyone says he likes me. Every night after school, he walks me home and we get on really well. I do like him, he's funny, kind, charming and good looking, but if I go out with him will I lose one of my really good friends? Shall I wait to go out with him until my friend doesn't like him?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31531http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31531Fri, 11 May 2012 01:10:23 GMTWhen I started secondary school, I became friends with a this girl and started to hang around with all her friends. We all got on kinda well, but I was more friendly with the original girl and another girl, whereas there were two other girls who I don't really enjoy spending time with. Now it's been a year and the girl I call my best friend is still really close with this boring girl. Sometimes, I feel like I'm her best friend and we get on really well, other times she doesn't want to know me and goes off with Mrs Boring Pants. Shall I try to win her over or will Mrs Boring always come first? Shall I just move on and become friends with new people and forget all about them? Help!http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31530http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=31530Fri, 11 May 2012 12:58:26 GMT