http://www.problemExchange.comThe most recently problems added to ProblemExchange.com(c) 2006, Uretopia Limited, All rights reserved.5Hi there, im a 23 yr old male uk. Ok well ive breezed through life and slept with quite a few number of girls without ever having a relationship and have been happy. Ive never wanted to settle down as ive enjoyed what ive been doing. Now just before xmas i selpt with a girl who i live near who is 19. now she had a reputation of going with loads in my village. so as i got to know her things progressed like they normally dont with me (where as i normally ditch them if they do my head in), where as i enjoyed her company and actually wanted to go out with her. so we started a relationship. now i found out that 90%of the rumours are a load of bull which is gud. ive even introduced her to my parents which ive never done before. the problem is whilst drunk last night we started asking random things, one of the questions i asked was how many people has she been with, so she asked me back and i replied 40 and she then said 35. so i my stomach literally churned. i cant get that number out of my head. i feel sick thinking of it, for the fact that i wasnt expectivng that number and how do i compare and alsorts. will she cheat and etc anybody got any advice. at least she was honest but i dnt know what to dohttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16695I have been making myself sick at least 4 to 5 times a week, the thing is now is I look forward to do it, is this normal?? xxxhttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16689I am on the mini-pill. IfIi feel a period coming on is there any way I can delay it or stop it while I am on these pills. Its called Noriday. http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16688I'm 14 (soon to be 15), i've had cronic pain for nearly 4 years now, i've also recently hurt my ankle and have been in pain with that for 6 months, i think i'm depressed about that. Also my next door neighbour's dad has just moved back recently and my next door neighbour has changed. My next door neighbour is One of my best friends we've grown up together he's two years younger than me. I know he's a teenager now but he's becoming quite sexist and rude since his dad came home. His dad acts all nice in frount of people but i think he is controlling both my next door neighbour and his mum. I'm really worried as i consider my next door neighbours like my brother and my 2nd Mum. I don't want to but in but i'm really worried about them. I'm scared if i confront the dad he'll stop me seeing them all togehter please help.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16687Hi me an this girl who I used to go to primary school with an were pretty good friends back then have been contact with each other for the first time in about seven years an I can see why we got/get on soo well, we just click an chat a lot about general thing( how are day is going, plans for the weekend etc). I asked her to a film and other things but as we both have reasonably busy timetables it never usally works! I have now started to like 'like' this girl a lot! I told my best friend this, and when he was drunk he told her this but in more of a " you no (insert my name) really loves you?" I am not angry with him for telling her that cause he is my best friend but he said this to her new years an I was texting her one night about a month later to ask her to go to see a film the next day an she asked me out right, " is this a date?" me freezing up said that although I know she is very attractive I only want to become close friends again.(we are now a month on from this an we are as close as ever) We also never seen that film unfortunatly! How should I tell her that actually do like 'like' her and that I think we should go on a date? If there is any girls here would you ask me that if you were interested or if you didn't want me to get the wrong idea? Please any help or any more info you need just message me an I will do my best to help! Thankshttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16686I've split with my partner. I'm not sure what the reason is - there are so many and not enough. His family have never accepted me and he hasnt met mine because of previous relationships. We seem to spend so much time worrying about our families feelings about us that we forgot our own. We've split before and he was seeing someone. I think they were really close although he came back to me and says it was over. I know now we are apart he will be with her again and I will have no hope of him. I want him to be happy I just feel we have more to do together and need to get the obstacles out of our way. I can move and be fine and I now he can easily. However no one has ever been to either of us what we have to each other. He gets very stubborn and I just get emotional so this isn't a good combination., I drive him mad with emotions he drives me mad with coldness. It doesn't sound like much of a relationship but when we were happy there was nothing like it. The best ever for both of us. http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16685im a lesbian whos been in a relationship for 6 years with my parnter. over the years we have become more like friends but we get on great. Just recently my best friend (who is also a girl) told me that she had feelings for me. we started to have an affair and have been doing so for the past 3 months. to cut a long story short, her relationship with her girlfriend broke down and she has now come to live with me and my girlfriend. i love my friend but i also love my girlfriend and i dont know what to do... my friend is asking me to walk away from my life and start again with her but i dont know what i want, if anything if i left i would want to be on my own. i know what i am doing is wrong but it just kinda happened and i will never forgive myself i just dont know what to do....http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16684I met a guy on holiday last year who i think was the one. he was the perfect guy n we really liked each other .. but as i was traveling home i lost my phone and therefore his number and the number i had given him. I cat find him on facebook ect and he has an really comon name so I cAnt look him up. I cant stop thnking what might have been and i really miss him, i just cant seem to move on not knowing if hes thinking all this too? surely in this day and age there must be a way to find him..http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16683I've been recently suffering with serious mood swings. I know I sound like every other person and it may just be hormones but others think something different, and i'm not too sure what to think myself. I take everything to heart, even the smallest of things. I go through phases of being really violent, to the point where its upsetting people close to me. I cry over the stupidest of things and at the time, I don't care who is around to witness it. I will go through a random stage of being annoying because of how happy and hyperactive I can be. Earlier on, I was shouting at my boyfriend in an arguement, that I had caused due to my argumentative mood swing, I went to the toilet, came back and was hugging him and kissing him and saying I loved him. The worst thing is, I didn't even realise what was going on until he pointed it out to me. Some of my friends are saying its schizophrenia (i kno thats not true and they are just joking around) some people are saying i suffer from some form of depression, my mum claims its hormones...who am i supposed to believe? what is wrong with me?! I am sick of feeling like I don't know how I am going to feel in five minutes time, it really is having damaging effects on relationships I have with the people closest to me.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16681I'm 28 and have two children aged 6 and 9, they live with thier dad but i see them every weekend. My boyfriend is moving abroad to spain for the summer then travelling around finding work as he goes and has asked me to come along. The plan is that i would come back to see my children every school holidays or they could come to whereever we are (obviously i would need to fly back to get them) I really want to do this but am so unsure off if it could work, is it just a nice dream, will it been seen as abandoning my children? is it enough to have them every holidays? i just dont no wot to do, am i being selfish considering this? their dad will not allow me to take them with me so that unfortunatly is not an option. Please helphttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16680I'm coming up to my 22nd birthday and I have never had a girlfriend. Whatever I try girls just are not interested in me. I'm not an ugly guy and I have an athletic body so I can't see it being my physical appearance. I'm fairly confident but can be reserved at times but I have tried to change that and still nothing has happened. I worried about this when I left school but just thought it'll happen and nearly six years on nothing has. My best mate who is on the same footing as me has had 3 since then and is now on his 4th but I don't get it. Every girl I have shown interest in has either ran a mile or had a boyfriend. I've now given up, everyone says it will happen when you least expect it or when your not looking for it but how when its on my mind all the time. There are girls I like but i've given up because i'm sick of finding out that there already taken. The stupid thing is I get the impression that my work colleagues think I'm a player and this is not even close. Help!http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16679I'm 17 - 18 in a couple of months. It's taken me a lot of courage to start writing this, because I am very, very embarrassed about what I'm going to say and I feel like such an awful, twisted person. I have always had confidence issues, paranoia issues, feelings of worthlessness and feel I'm never good enough for anyone and people are constantly judging me, and very often I find myself very depressed just wishing I had a different life. But I'm not sure if what I'm going to say now, ties into what I've just said. In the last few years, as I've grown up, I have drifted apart from my dad. When I was younger, he never acted as a dad - he didn't help with homework, or attend any parents evenings and didn't really play the father role. He then had depression, and I believe he has never fully recovered from it, because since his depression 10 years ago, he has completely let himself go. He looks a state, his personal hygeine is shocking, the tiniest, tiniest thing sends him into orbit and he rants and raves constantly. He walks around the house in a terrible mood and he makes the family feel tense. He hasn't worked for 10 years and spends every single day sitting around the house, not even doing work on the house which is in desperate need. I could go on for ages and ages about his problems, but it's got to the point now, where I can't stand him and hate being around him. I don't remember the last time we had a conversation, and if we ever do it's the most awkward thing I could ever experience - we just can't communicate. He does try, by being silly and saying silly things, but I can't stick it. There's also the fact that I've seen him in times of extreme violence so many times, and I've seen him push my mum and throw things at her in arguments, and he's hit me a few times in the past too. That's the basics of our relationship but I could go on and on. Now, I believe that it is down to this lack of a father figure that I have that I have a thing for older men. This started in year 9 at the age of 13/14 when I fell for one of my teachers, and became besotted with him. I took this through to year 10, where I started to fancy more and more teachers and it had got to a point where they controlled my daily routine. I would learn where they would be at what point in the day and I would make sure I was there just to see them. I would walk different ways to lessons because I knew I would pass them. I became obsessed, and it caused me to have a fallout with my best friend. While having all these feelings for these teachers, I also became depressed at night when I was at home and I'd cry and a few times it lead to self harm. I remember becoming very close to one teacher, because I was the top student in his subject and he'd give me extra work and wink at me in the corridor and things like that, which made me feel pretty amazing. That teacher then left at the end of the year, causing me to become extremely upset and I remember spending the first week of the summer holiday in tears and didn't eat for about 4 days. The whole teacher thing carried on to year 11, where there became a list of about 10 teachers who I fancied. In truth, I probably didn't even fancy some of them, but they were there to be the authority figure, for me to look at and dream about, wishing they would protect me, probably like a father should, but mine doesn't. These teachers dominated my school life, and it was the discussion everyday with my friends, and the lengths I would go to just to see some of the teachers, or just to talk to them or whatever, was extreme and certain ones were never off my mind. It probably didn't help that one of them found out I liked them, as did the whole year group and it was the hot topic for about 4 months. I then left school and went to college, and the teacher fantasy continued. There's only a few male teachers at college, and I am besotted with 3 of them, even now. I never stop thinking about them, I talk to my friends about them, I stare at them when they walk past and look out for them to walk past too. All the celebrities I like are in their 30s or older, and my favourite age group tends to be mid 40s - I'm known for fancying older men to basically anyone that knows me. When I'm out in public, shopping or something, it's always the middle aged men that catch my eye, and oddly enough, the parents are the most attractive. I fantasise every single day about being loved by an older man and being cared for, and so often just take myself into a day dream. I constantly think about the 3 teachers at college and just think how I would love something to happen and I won't deny that these fantasies are sexual too. I mean it is genuinely constant - I can't get this fantasy out my head, that I just want to be with an older man so much, but the truth is, I've hardly had any proper boyfriends. My first ever kiss was 18 months ago at a party where this guy who liked me and always flirted was dared to kiss me, and so we did, but I haven't kissed anyone since then. I haven't had sex, and feel so pressured to, as all my friends have and I feel so left out as I haven't had sex and feel like I really need to have it soon, even though I know I'm still only young. My college friends think I have had sex, I was too embarrassed to admit that I haven't. Now, here comes the problem which I swear I need help with, and I beg you not to judge me. One of the teachers at college is called Paul (I've not used his real name) and I was once talking to a close friend on MSN who doesn't live local to me, and I mentioned the name Paul, but she had forgotten who he was. So naturally, I told her he was a teacher at college but I took it too far and stupidly told her that not only was he a teacher I fancied, but that we're seeing each other secretly within college. You can imagine she was shocked, and she asked questions, all of which I answered with massive lies. Then for the next few weeks she'd ask me how things were going, and I'd make up stories that had happened and things that we'd said and all sorts, and she believed all of it because I went into so much detail and just seemed to be so good at making these stories up. I should've stopped before it got further and I know that, but it just became too late for me to tell her I made it all up, and in truth, whenever I was telling her about things that had happened, I was taking myself out of my own world and into this fake one where I even believed myself that it was happening and it made me feel good. That was until I'd be at college and see him and realise how none of it was true and this Paul doesn't even know me and I had to remember in reality, I'd made it all up and I wasn't actually seeing this gorgeous teacher and my life wasn't really all that good. In the end I decided it was upsetting me too much and I told my friend that me and Paul were over to stop us talking about it. However, only the other week, she told me she'd met this guy who she'd been talking to online for a few years and she lost her virginity to him, and I got frustrated that yet another friend had had sex and she was probably going to get a boyfriend while little me has just hardly experience and don't have anyone interested in me, and so I stupidly told her that me and Paul are back together. Yes, I'm an idiot and that's why I'm posting here - I want help. Next is even worse than this teacher Paul, and I'm ashamed that I've done this. Last year I spent 6 months working in cancer research doing voluntary work and this has been the basic of this current lie. My 3 best friends at college all have boyfriends and have had sex, and so again I feel left out. So I told my friends about a 36 year old called Paul (this is what I actually said his name was.) who I worked with at cancer research - now this person doesn't even exist, but I made him up and said that we were close friends but he was enagaged. I then had to make the story more realistic so they believed it, so I saved my own mobile number in my phone as 'Paul' and therefore I can text this 'Paul' and the message comes straight back to me and then I delete the message from my sentbox so it looks like I have genuine messages from someone called Paul in my inbox. Then when I want to 'reply', I send another text to 'Paul' (myself) only I delete it from my inbox this time and it stores in my sentbox. Therefore I was able to write out complete conversations between me and this 'Paul' and cos my friends saw the texts, they had every reason to believe it. So this carried on for weeks because I couldn't tell them I'd made it up, and then I claimed he was coming to see me over Christmas and so on the said date in the holiday, I had to stay offline as if I were with him. Then a couple of times I've pretended to be on the phone to him at college (this is how sad it's got) and I've just sent so many texts to myself to create dozens of conversations between me and this Paul which my friends have all seen, and I've made us become closer, and then a few weeks ago I said that he'd called off the engagement with his fiance and then we've got closer. I then told my friends he was coming to see me at the weekend so the weekend just gone I had to be offline all Saturday and my friend was texting me to ask if I was with him and I was texting her to say yes and telling her what we were doing when I was actually sat on my bed watching TV. I can't actually believe how disturbed and twisted I sound as I write this. But over the past 4 months I have made up so many stories about me and this Paul, sent so many texts to myself, faked so many phonecalls and it's becoming so hard to bear now, that I know I'm gonna have to pretend that I'm calming things down with him so I can have a justified reason for not texting anymore. I've told them we are planning to have sex too, just to make me feel better I think, when we're talking about, I feel good and I feel like it's real, but then it hits me and I realise what a massive stupid horrible liar I am and how much trouble this could cause if they ever found out. I don't even know why I do this, but I know it's not normal behaviour, and I must have an obsessive personality, and probably gawd knows what else. I mean it's one thing obsessing over teachers and older men to such an extreme degree, but to make up such lies and live a big pretence, that surely can't be right, can it? I just don't know what the HELL to do, because I am so, so embarrassed about this, and I don't know why it happens or how I can ever cure this. http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16678Is it weird to like someone two years younger than me? I'm 15 and the boy I like is 13, and normally the guy is older so it just seems a bit weird, especially as we're quite young. Also my friend who is 13 likes him, but he likes me and I don't really know what to do. She says she wouldn't mind if we went out, but she would be really upset.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16675I met this guy, through a friend, online, and we really hit it off, we talked about the same things, I sent him pictures of myself wearing a suit at my cousin's wedding, and I looked thin, due to the waistcoat and jacket, and he sent a picture of him, shirtless, my friend was ranting to me about how I was so lucky he liked me, and after a few weeks he asked me out, and then after a week we are now regularly telling each other we love each other, but we still haven't met each other face to face and I'm worried as he was gorgeous, he was perfect, and I'm fourteen stone, he was slim, muscular, with gorgeous eyes, I'm fat, bloated, with a huge nose, and every time we make plans to meet I pull out at the last minute as I can't stand the thought of him seeing me and just running away from me. please help.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16674I have spots on my vaginal area and also white discharge, I'm still a virgin so what could it be? It's really itchy and sore.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16673My baby is 4 months old. My partner left me early on in my pregnancy as it was not what he wanted, but actually blamed our arguments for the split. We were arguing but I put it down to his behaviour, he was always out with mates in the pub as soon as I got pregnant it got worse. He has 2 children from a previous relationship who he sees and pays for regularly which I was also involved with as we were together for 4 years. He hardly anything to do with me through the pregnancy, but said he would do what was right and look after his child even though he didn't want it, as he kept reminding me. I thought he would be ok when the baby was born, but he seems to be worse, he doesn't make any definate times to see his baby, sometimes he doesn't turn up, when I bring this up and say its not fair he just stays away and doesn't bother at all saying he cannot deal with him and I arguing, I have begged him to be different but nothing seems to register, I am at my wits end, if I tell him to not bother at all he will as I think thats what he is waiting for, I have been in tears with him one minute he says sorry the next I don't hear from him, its as if I am waiting for him to get in touch to see his baby - the reason why I am so hurt is he is okay with his other 2 children but I don't know why he is rejecting his baby - he has already said he is trying really hard NOT to bond with him - What do I do?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16672I have a problem with my 3 year old. She has never slept through the night since she was born. She wakes up at least twice a night even if she eats well before bed and takes a bath. She usually takes juice during the night. Now she wakes up around 2 am and only falls asleep around 4 am. She doesn't sleep during the day though. At 2am she wants to play and talk and watch TV. Is this normal? What can I do to stop this problem http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16668My boyfriend has been suffering from a constant cough for loads of months now, possibly longer than 4 or 5 months as I have lost track of time however, he has been to his doctors on numerous occasions and no matter what he says the doctor will not give him a chest X-ray, he has prescribed antibiotics a few times, I know my boyfriend didn't complete the full course the first time he took them, however he took most of them and there were only a few left, he coughs so he ends up heaving. Nearly every time I'm with him he heaves loads and wakes me up in the middle of the night. His doctor has given him a "checkup" although it was very quick and not very thorough, placing the stethoscope on his chest, back and telling him to breathe in and out seems like a normal checkup it just seemed a bit rushed. I'm really worried about my boyfriends health, he has also been to the hospital to have some sort of air to breathe in to clear his system, it seemed to work for a few days but then he was back to coughing and heavy breathing. He is asthmatic also, he takes his inhaler alot throughout the day to help him breathe more and he wheezes alot Please give me some guidance, I want him to have an X-ray or at least some sort of treatment, I don't know what's wrong with him, his doctor mentioned a chest infection although on what I have seen I think his doctor isn't at all up to scratch. My boyfriend has mentioned to me on numerous occasions he felt like he was going to pass out because of lack of breath and coughing constantly. Its really been going on for far too long and im sure hes really sick of this and he really wants to get rid of whatever is causing it. Please advise me on what to do as I have no idea how to go about all this anymore. Thanks for your patience if you read this.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16656I left my husband of 15 years a year ago because I thought I didn't love him anymore and I went straight out with an ex. I realised then that I had hormone troubles and was the same with this guy as I was with my husband, they put me on medication which really helped but I can't help thinking that if I'd been given the medication when I was with my husband then I would never had left, we have two children together and we both find it very difficult not being with the children all the time. I think I would go back only now I am pregnant and this has confused the situation even more. I don't know whether to stay with this guy and have the baby or terminate the pregnancy and go back to my husband. Please helphttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16653I am currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, as we have gone to different universities, which are about 150 miles apart. The fact that I only get to see him once a month doesn't bother me, the problem is his jealousy. Everytime I go out he gets all quiet and won't tell me what's wrong for about an hour. He gets jealous that I have several male friends and he thinks I spend more time getting ready to go out with them than I do when he is here, which I honestly don't believe is true. I've never really been able to tell the difference between being friendly with a guy, and flirting, which may be part of his problem, I'm not sure. I love him so much and don't want to lose him, but this is putting so much pressure on me and I'm finding it really difficult to enjoy myself. I can no longer go out of a night without feeling like I've betrayed him. I just really don't know what to do anymore.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=16652