http://www.problemExchange.comThe most recently problems added to ProblemExchange.com(c) 2006, Uretopia Limited, All rights reserved.5May I be the first to wish you a very Happy Birthday, Frances. I hope you have a wonderful day full of lovely surprises. I’d like to take this opportunity to publicly express my heartfelt gratitude for the kindness you have shown and for all the good, sound advice you have given me over the past year. Like the true and loyal friend you are, you’re always there in times of need. I don’t know what I would have done without you, especially during the last few weeks. I’m sure there are many others who will want to join me in wishing you well today, and to thank you for all the help and advice you have so freely and willingly given. http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7555I know this guy for about 10 years. We dated for a few years and lived with me for a while. The relationship was always rocky. We split up, he met a much youger girl, was with her for about three yrs. He contacted me when things were rocky between them. Of course I thought it was meantr to be, so I was there for him. He's always down on his luck, so he started staying in my house. It was supposed to be for 2 days only. It is now 4 months. He gives me nothing for staying, he's a leech, plus he comes and goes as he pleases. I'm the one that he falls on when he needs somebody, yet he is now seeing another woman and has no concerns on how I feel and I can't get him out of my house. What am I going to do? I tried to be very nice and I tried to be nasty. He wont go. I think he feels that when he gets it together he will leave and until then, it's just too bad for me. HELP!!!!!!!!!http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7552Got married 7 years ago, had first child within 1 year.After having our son, things became hard cos living with parents and so much interference from parents so I was not able to bring up my son the way I wanted to which led to me getting PND.Could not bond with child.Always were told by parents that all I was doing was wrong. I want a 2nd child now but husband comes out with lots of excuses, money, what happened last time, stress, PND, list is endless.Only wants to do IT when he is drunk. Husband feels that IT is only done to produce kids not done for pleasure, has a phobia of IT.Got my hopes up last week,told me to get an ovulation kit but when it came down to the night we were going to do it, we ended up in an argument over same excuses.Only person that I had to talk to about my problems, died last year through cancer. I have nobody to turn to.Surely I can make him see sense. Please help.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7551My mother has really upset me this evening. The situation is, I'm 37 weeks pregnant with a toddler and my mum offered to come and stay to give me a hand. She has been such a good help but I have, as always, had to manage her. She isn't very emotionally astute so I always have to make everything absolutely clear to her or run the risk of her getting the wrong end of the stick and flying off the handle. Tonight has been particularly awful: it poured with rain as we left the supermarket to walk back home. She was pushing the pushchair with my son and some shopping (she has arthritis in both knees and always wants to take the pushchair off me to steady herself). I said I'd walk ahead and meet her back home since I didn't want to walk as slow and couldn't help carry shopping. I got back, went upstairs to get changed and before I'd dressed the doorball rang twice within 10 seconds. I opened the door half dressed knowing she was standing in the rain but it was too late. An angry face demanded to know where I'd been and was shocked to hear I'd been getting changed. I was then called 'self-centred' and every synonym belonging to this word before she stormed upstairs only to come down a half hr later saying she'd packed, was leaving and wouldn't be back in 2 weeks time(to look after her grandson while I'll be having my second baby) . This really hurt, I asked her what I'd done to which she just replied she'd had a bellyful and that I knew what I'd done. I told her I got to the door as quick as I could and she said that people use her, that she was due to go home several days ago and should have left (she agreed to stay as my husband is in London). With case packed and coat on, I went to put my son to bed and she acted all sweetness and delight and asked him for a kiss. I felt very angry and told her that if she left now she wouldn't see him again. After a few mins she came up to the nursery and asked whether she could feed him so I let her. It has been awkward all night and I just can't get this woman to speak. She drives me up the wall sometimes. The idea of her leaving like that made me feel so angry, the melodrama of it all and what does she expect would happen in the near future when my second baby comes along? That we'd kiss and make up after all that? She is self-destructive and I realise I can't have her just leave like that, not just for me but for the sake of my children. When I told her she wouldn't see him again if she left right then she called it emotional blackmail and I said she was doing the same to me. It feels like everything's been fine until my husband left yesterday and now I'm on my own she can have a good stab at me. Hate it hate it hate it. Don't know what to do. Feels like I was bullied into a corner tonight and made to perform with tears (even though they were genuine) in order to play this game of her needing to be needed or something. Whatever it is, I could really do without it right now. Any advice would be welcome, Anon.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7550hey everyone there a problem i should share with you all... theres this guy i like and its been over a year now and well we are friends, we are really good buddies but now he sort of changed...he doesn't talk to me anymor and i asked him why he said i was imagining it so things sort of got a little better and i really like him but i'm affariad he might have found out... we just spoke a few hours ago and he was sad he told me its because he misses his girlfriend, you can only imagine how shattered i must've been!! i managed to live with the fact that he's seeing someone but now its starting to get under my skin...another thing is i havent seen him in a long time so we hardly get time to communicate so absence makes the heart grow fonder...in my case it killing me!! what should i do??http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7549hiya i just wonderd if you can help me... well my problem is that i really like this boy but hes a bit older then me ... and well the other night we was texting each other and he told me to ring him so i did and he was being really nice to me ... but then he kept asking me to go and meet him but it was late at night and he was drunk and with all his mates so i dint go ... and now he not answer any of my calls and not text me back ... so what does it mean does he like me or does he just want me for sex ??????? some please help befor i do something i will regrethttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7547i'm 17 i've been with my boyfriend who is 23 for a few months now. we have an active sex life but i'm scared of going on top. i think he thinks i'm selfish and in it for myself. but i've never really done it before. i've had 4 sexual partners which 3 of were 1 night stands. i don't want him to look for it somewhere else. but i don't want to make a fool of myself and do it wrong?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7546Regardless of what i try girls just never seem interested in me. I've only ever had one girlfriend and that was years ago. I mean i'm not bad looking, have a pretty decent physique and i'm reasonably confident and always try to keep up a good appearance, but however much i try girls are just not interested in me. The stupid thing is my best mate says he is more confident in pulling girls with me than anyone else. I mean i asked one girl out recently but have never had an answer from, as i did it through msn, but when i decide to ask her about in person i back off to avoid looking like a weirdo. This issue is really starting to affect my self esteem and i now try to avoid social gatherings as a i just see them as whats the point, i'm always the guy left on his own. I always get the advice of 'oh it will happen' but it never does.http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7545HI.I need some generic advice please as I cant afford to go to a solicitor yet. It looks sadly like my wife and I may split.We havent been intimate or got on for years and the constant bickering is coming to ahead.Problem is we have two children and I want to minimise their pain too.Also,we have a large mortgage and some joint loans with no equity.What would happen with them if I instigated a split?And how much would I have to pay out.Currently my wife earns approx £12k and I earn £22k but the loans come to £200 a month and the mortgage to just over £800.I dont want to end up penniless but I need to be happy.Im also unsure howthe state would help her as a single person bringing up kids but im sure they would.We thankfully have no childcare costs and I would want to stay close and see them during the week and weekends where possible.The arguing is getting me downand I know they pick up on it .I just need a solution!Please help.All advice is greatly appreciated.if we could sort things ourselves it would be great, but i cant stay just for the kids-im not yet 40 and feel I deserve a life toohttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7544I am attending an educational course 5 days a week and a guy in the class is following me everywhere around the building, staring at me constantly in the class and sitting where i sit in the cafeteria. I told the teacher but the guy is still in the class and I feel really uncomfortable. What should i do?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7542IN HOPES THAT EVERYONE HAS A SAFE AND HEALTHY WEEKEND. PLEASE REMEMBER NOT TO DRINK AND DRIVE DURING THIS HOLIDAY. THE KIDS AND I ARE GOING TO THE LAKE TO WATCH THE FIRE WORKS, AFTER OUR BBQ. LOVE ALWAYS LATIN ROSAhttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7538i love my BF very much. he treats me well and takes care of me, he is very affectionate and considerate and loving all the time. However...He has a big problem with telling me what to do, for example he always asks me what i would like to do...which is lovely But if i say i would like to watch a movie that he dosen't really fancy watching he'll just say "no we'll do this instead" what ever it may be. same thing with times and places if my time or place is not exactly what he was thinking he just changes it and makes like it was my idea because he askd me you know? how do i tell him he's really upseting me without sounding like a nag?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7537I need some help in how to help my best friend. She's been married for 15 years to a really lovely man who obviously adores her and does his best to make her happy. Obviously, you never know what goes on in someone else's marriage, but I know she loves him to bits. He can be boring though, he's very set in his ways, likes routine and is very slightly obsessive about his own pastimes, she on the other hand is a bit of a livewire, sociable and spontaneous. Up until now it has seemed that their diverse personalities complimented one another and she has spent a good deal of their years together following him around and supporting him in what he wants to do. She has, however, recently discovered a hobby that she loves and because of that has become involved with a group of people very similar to her in personality and I'm concerned that she is storing up huge problems not only for her marriage but for her sanity. One of the men in the group is attracted to her and she admits that she is to him despite him being married and being old enough to be her father and, while she is an incorrigible flirt, she normally maintains the boundaries between them. That is until she's had too much to drink. She swears that she doesn't fancy him sexually at any level and that they haven't gone any further than inappropriate kissing and I believe her, but I know that after any of these episodes she's depressed and self loathing almost to the point of doing something drastic because she knows that she is risking hurting her husband and her friend's family but she feels incapable of controlling her behaviour. She doesn't want to give up the hobby, she enjoys it and has made a load of new genuine friends and she assures me that she makes a conscious effort to control her alcohol consumption when they are all together and can go for months without any incident and then, I'll come into work and find her in tears because she slipped the previous evening and an overindulgence of alcohol co-incided with her being alone in this man's company and they've kissed again. At that point she is convinced that she has a serious personality flaw (she hasn't, she's lovely) and that the best thing for all concerned would be if she wasn't around any more. I really want to help her but she won't go to counselling because she thinks it will hurt her husband too much, that he will see himself as not good enough at making her happy, she doesn't have a drink problem, other than the fact she overindulges very ocassionally, but no more than many people, she doesn't want to give up the hobby because she has at last found something that she enjoys that is her "time" and she is actually very good at and I don't think she has the capacity not to flirt, its totally part of who she is. That last paragraph hasn't really given much help for a solution, but that's the problem I have. I hate to see her beating herself up and then almost hiding from everyone for weeks afterwards. Any advice on how I can help will be hugely welcome. Tobyx http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7536I have been seperated after 20yrs marraige for 5 years I was engaged to a man I went out with for 2 years but it didnt work out then a while ago I went out with a man who I thought was very nice similar situation he had been married for 30 yrs but only seperated for 3 months I only went out with him for 12 weeks then he dumped me and I tryed to get him back which was stupid I know.I was quite nasty to him cos i was hurt then i apoligised he then pretended he wanted to go out with me again then sent me a text message saying he was only wanting to see if i fell for his talk again then he text and said i was ugly boring made him sick he was embarrassed to go out with me ,aia dressed like an old woman and I am a dog just really horrible things I didnt reply but it has made me really down how could anyone say all these things i am depressed i am not achild im 47 and feel i will be on my own forever he said that too no 1 would put up with mehttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7533for those of you celebrating...happy 4th!!! hope everyone has a fun day full of bbqs., family, and friends!!! and hopefully GOOD WEATHER!!!!!~~ just a little "side note".~~my daughter HAS NOT HEARD from cali. guy in over a month now! she is like a different person...stress free...i don't have to worry and wonder now what on earth he will do/say to mess things up ever again, and make her upset...he seems to be out of her life completely...the sad note is the fact he gave up on such a sweet caring girl who really did love him, for his bad vices he will not give up!!...but there is a fine line between love and hate...and he crossed over it...(altho hate is too harsh a word for me to use)...maybe moreso of "pushing her away"...a lesson well learned here...if you see bad vices in a person...whatever they maybe.....you can help them only sooooo much without them "wearing you down"....the greatest thing in the world would have been for him to change, but she told me her second time in cali. made her realize that he was getting worse...by the time he returned home, it was too late..so sad to see a person cause so much tormoil in a family...and yes, it affects everyone...so, this chapter is closed and a new one will begin...all we can all do is pray for cali. guy to come to his senses and mature and make something out of himself...thank you all again for being there and listening!! love ya!! ~dawn xohttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7532I was with this man for 4 years, I ended the realationship as I thought it was going no where,and he only wanted me as i was his 1st proper partner, but after a year he is till by my side through everything an says he still loves me, but I have been seeing someone else some one he knows, I thought I really liked this new bloke, but now im confused is it lust with this new man what is more inportant sex and caring? or some one who loves and do anything for me? or is it to late and I should break away from both?please help its tearing me up insidehttp://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7531me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly a year now, i have recently got a new job which means im working 10 hours a day and we dont have much time to see each other, she said we are going to lose how close we are, but i didnt think we would, but it seems like she is almost trying to push me away, i cant see her for another week now and then for 2 weeks after that, we have started arguing and its not like it used to be, im afraid we will end up breaking up, what should i do!?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7530My gran died earlier this year, and a couple months later, a friend of my family's also died. I feel nervous about asking my mum about stuff that involves her mum. For instance, yesterday I asked her if her mum ever gave her hints on how to cook stuff. Only after I asked I thought maybe I shouldn't have asked. My mum didn't get upset, but I don't know if it is ok to ask stuff. Especially as with my friend who died, I get a bit upset if people say things like - do you remeber her snoring. It makes me sad becuase that was a joke between us (she really had a bad snoring problem). What I want to know - is it safe to talk to my mum about my gran? Or should I leave it?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7529I am going to make this really simple. How Do I tell if A Guy likes me and If he Does, how do I let him know I like him back so he ask's me out?http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7528Hi, I am 19 years old. I haven't had many jobs so I don't have much experience in anything and I have no idea what I want to do to go to college or anything like that. I am unemployed at the moment and I can't find a job anywhere! I can't drive either and live in the middle of nowhere so it's hard for me to get to places. Does anyone have any ideas as to what I could do to earn some money to take my driving lessons, then hopefully be able to get a good job then. Thank you for any advice. :-) http://www.problemexchange.com/problem.aspx?id=7527