I once reported some children to the NSPCC who I was concerned about. At 1.00pm in the afternoon two little girls stood outside their house. One had a nightdress on and the other had no clothes on but for a piece of old bedsheet wrapped around. They had other siblings in the house too. So I reported this. They phoned me almost immediately and I went through the whole thing again. Even telling them how to get tothe house (which was on a corner) the colour of the door, everything about the place. It took them 4 weeks before they came back to me. They said that they couldn't make contact with the family because there was no number on the door. Even though they recognised the house, the colour of the door, and accepted that it was on the corner of the street! THEY asked ME to go and speak to the parents!!! I wouldn't put a penny in their collection tin. They can whistle. It is no suprise to me that children are ignored, because people are making complaints, those complaints are not getting anywhere. Then we have the "actors" placed in adverts for the NSPCC on the tv. One of them is a baby. It obviously has to go through the same situation as if it were neglected; no child that young can 'act', so how do they justify leaving that child to be in such distress? As I said I wouldn't give them a penny 'to help the children' because they get paid for doing it now, but the system fails and fails badly. Amy

Anonymous - Posted: 6/8/2007 5:57:09 AMComment ID: 15945- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

I still find it difficult to believe that in this century we are having children and animals abused, neglected and killed in the most diabolical manner. We really do need to use some common sense and make the punishments harsher. I have dealt with Social Services over the years in my job as a nurse and find that more often than not common sense is not a requisite of the job. Children, old people and the infirm should be a priority of those of us well enough to care. A qualification on a piece of paper does not make someone care. Many many animals in this country are neglected by the 'organisations' who are supposed to care for them and who appeal constantly for funds, but dont answer the call when needed. Lets treat all with the respect that we expect for ourselves.

Anonymous - Posted: 6/8/2007 6:30:29 AMComment ID: 15956- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

I know what you mean 15956, the punishments should be much much harsher, the government is talking of not necessarily locking up paedophiles....WHAT!!!! These people cannot be rehabilitated, they are and will always be a danger to children, so lock them up and throw away the key and oh lets forget about rule 43 and their human rights, they gave up the right to those when they deliberatly abused a child, aren't the human rights of a child far far more important.

Amy i'm really sorry you had such a poor experience of the NSPCC, I do work for the Samaritans and deal with a lot of abused kids, and I've found the guys at the NSPCC are fantastic, goes to show how things differ region by region. Abuse of anyone young or old is our business and it's up to us to make as much 'fuss' as we can to stamp it out.

Loobie

loobie - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 6/8/2007 6:58:59 AMComment ID: 15957- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

Hi Loobie, Your not over reacting. I think this is a great post, and it should be brought up. If I new of a child being abused or thought a child was being abused I would definatly speak up. Children need to be took care of, and its a big shame that a poor little innocent child, or a person has to deal with things like that. And No I didn't know that more people report abuse of animals than a child. wow. thats sad. not saying that the animals deserve to be hurt, They dont.. (I have a little dog that I love very much, and i'de never hurt her, And i'de NEVER hurt a child either) But you see more and more about children being hurt and killed, and that is a flat out shame! They should really lock up those monsters and through away the key and i agree with everything you said in comment 15957 too. Great job lobbie.

ambylue - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 6/8/2007 7:36:49 AMComment ID: 15962- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

In addition to my previouse comments 15956. Paedophiles should be castrated either physicaly or chemically. But our children are not always abused by a paedophile. there is much more abuse by relatives, and not all is sexual. Neglect, verbal abuse, lack of clean clothes, sleep and food are all abuse. We need - NEED parents to be taught parenting skills NOW. there are so many children from broken homes in situations with step parents and mother's new partners who are not seen, not heard from but are suffering neglect and abuse. We all need to be responsible for keeping an eye on this issue.

Anonymous - Posted: 6/8/2007 8:30:39 AMComment ID: 15973- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

15973 - your right about parenting skills, it's assumed that they're instinctive and they're not. Sadly we're made to feel ashamed if we're not coping, and that asking for help is bad. We should be able to ask for help without being judged. you're also correct about abuse in whatever form being more likely to come from a family member. I don't understand how anyone could cause anyharm at all to a child, I truly don't......

loobie - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 6/8/2007 8:39:40 AMComment ID: 15975- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

i know a family who are on drugs, have a 5yr old child. put buying drugs before food and scrounge off the neighbous till next dhss payout. they owe £900 rent arrears even though they only have to pay £5 a week. the sons just gone in prison for robbery and coming up on other charges. someone reported them to social services but nothing happened to them. ask how i know all this. well the son and his mates burgled my daughter and his mother knew too, they did this when my daughter was taken away by ambulance. the boys girlfriend told us he did this but is scared of them and wouldnt tell the police. i got the police to go in there house and lookand some stuff belonging to my daughter easfound. they were put on bail ,son daughter and mother but all got away with it.wheres the justice in this country. ive lost faith in the police too because they know they are a scummy family. x di

Anonymous - Posted: 6/8/2007 9:16:57 AMComment ID: 15978- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

Being an abused child myself,it's a difficult subject.I even had a social worker visist the house once because I had a black eye from my father.As an 8 year old I did everything to stop them taking me away,said anything to not break up the family.So I was left there,unknown to the social worker that the black eye was the least of my problems.What I needed was not only my family reported,but the details reported.I for one was not going to open my heart to a stranger about my family,but If someone,a nieghbour or a family friend asked?If someone came and got to know what went on?Someone got my trust?Maybe it would of stopped.It didn't help just reporting what was seen.And when I was questioned by the social worker I was always with a member of my family.That was 20 years ago.I don't know what they do now,seems like they do less.So my advice would be,don't just report the family.Befriend the family(yes as a spy),get to know them.Ask the youngsters questions when they are alone.Get to know the whole story,and be supportive.When you feel you know enough to report the parents,get ready to go there to support the children as they will need you there when they are questioned.It might seem like prying or too much for you,but if you want the child safe you must take it apon yourself to do all you can do.I know I felt alone with a stranger and my family listening to my evey word.If someone was there I could trust I just might of told the truth.

welshman - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 6/8/2007 11:02:13 AMComment ID: 15984- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

i agree whole heartedly with the above post. no child really wants to be taken into care because its like starting a new life with strangers. and making friends and changing schoolsso i do understand. yes i say get a spy so an adult can front the parents and scare the hell out of them .they will then know someones on their case. abusing parents are very crafty to suit their own ends. shame on them,and bless the childrenxxlisa

Anonymous - Posted: 6/8/2007 11:37:05 AMComment ID: 15986- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

As an older parent whose chicks have flown the nest. I am horrified today by the lack of care and parenting skills. Many children in this country (UK) are being brough up by parents who are selfish, self centred, vain and more interested in having a good time and enjoying themselves that we would ever have though of doing. Our first child was a year old before we had a night out without him. Not all young parents are bad but very often the priorities that we thought important are no longer important to the generation bringing children into the world. Also children are having children today and are just too young. There is no programme at school for preparing our youngsters for life. Domestic Science and engineering seem to be of the past. But not everyone is able or wants to go to further education or university. We have parents today who are not versed in basic life skills bringing up children and passing nothing on to them. I am sick of hearing young girls saying they want a baby because they want something to love and love them, How sad is this? Paternity tests are the fashion and contraception is treated as a joke.
Family values - what family values? Does anybody have them any more?

Anonymous - Posted: 6/8/2007 12:25:27 PMComment ID: 15987- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

My daughter in law is a teacher in an inner city primary school and she has a melting pot of children from all over the world in her class. some of them are from parents who are in jail, on drugs, prostitutes, non workers and some are from two parent 'so called normal' families. The problems these children present are horrendous and their home lives are unbelieveably bad. My heart breaks for children like them and this is one small school in one town in UK. Teachers are not allowed to touch or cuddle a child and often the highlught of the child's day is to stand in front of her desk and receive praise. She loves her job, but its not easy when she has values and has been brought up in a loving caring family herself and can see exactly what is lacking in her little charges' lives. My philospohy is that love, discipline and respect begin at the cradle and end at the grave. To give a child lots of love, a full tummy, a clean, warm bed and teach them to read are the greatest gifts you can ever offer. Whatever happened to these basics? How much do any of the above cost?

Anonymous - Posted: 6/8/2007 1:11:21 PMComment ID: 16002- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

Wow, thanks everyone for your responses, I'm sickened and saddened by how some of you were dealt with by the very people set up to help. Post 16002 has a point about family values and family time, I'm in a very fortunate postion that I could give up work to be with my children, I loved my job and it was a real wrench leaving it, BUT, I love my kids a lot more and as I said I'm lucky that I could do that, not everyone is that fortunate, it's not necessarily about materialism, sometimes needs must. Lets just hope that common sense wins through and this and future governments start to concerntrate on the human rights of the innocent and vulnerable instead of the criminal.

loobie - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 6/9/2007 2:20:13 AMComment ID: 16035- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

I was very touched by 16002's response too. My own mother was a victim of sexual abuse and it affected her all her life. She never forgave the father who did this to her, nor should she. I don't think as a society we know how to bring up our children. It is something that is not taught. It starts with no moral education, and then education about sex, although necessary in this day and age, it is used as a something that should be experienced and the earlier the better. What happened to long courtships, engagements then marriage? Unless we bring these values back into our lives our children will suffer. I am so pleased that 16002's daughter in law appreciates that it is not the childrens' fault that their families are dysfunctional. She sounds like a very good, kind, understaning, teacher. The punishments I had to undergo at school, because our teacher came from a nice home with hot running water and central heating; we had none of these things and only a cold water tap to wash under. I would sit in bed at night in the winter freezing, trying to do my homework, as we only had one coal fire in the living room. There was no heat anywhere else. I was punished unmercifully by the bitch I called my history teacher. Picked on because of poverty. I didn't possess a pair of shorts for PE, but these were made available to me by a lovely teacher who still lives in my area. If all teachers were as good as this lady's daughter in law and understood that it is not the child's fault, then help could be given, where desperately needed, and the children could open up to them. Maybe having a school counseller instead of Social Workers who call at the house, where parents give the kids threats if they say the wrong thing. If your child has an accident that child is taken away from you at the hospital for the treatment it needs. During that time, it is asked if any parental involvement was involved in the accident. Quite right too. So why not have a school counsellor to speak to these innocents. They are innocent to start off with; it's only their lifestyle, and the way they are brought up, that makes them turn out the way they do. Some of them would be better off in a Childrens' Home, where they are taught everything, even the deaf sign language. Our priorities are all wrong today. Thank you Loobie and thank you 16002 for highlighting this problem.

Frances - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 6/9/2007 5:52:47 AMComment ID: 16036- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

i do understand everything your saying because i will do the same.

Today i phoned the nspcc. as 10 years i know this man and he put is girlfriend son in hospital.he was 18 mths. i so him walking down the canel with two of is daughters as i have not seen him in 10 year i did not know he had children so when so him and i relized there where his kids frist thing this morning i phone the nspcc 4 the safty of the children

Anonymous - Posted: 6/11/2007 5:40:38 PMComment ID: 16190- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

i do understand everything your saying because i will do the same.

Today i phoned the nspcc. as 10 years i know this man and he put is girlfriend son in hospital.he was 18 mths. i so him walking down the canel with two of is daughters as i have not seen him in 10 year i did not know he had children so when so him and i relized there where his kids frist thing this morning i phone the nspcc 4 the safty of the children

Anonymous - Posted: 6/11/2007 5:40:43 PMComment ID: 16191- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

i dont know where to start or how to write this but i need advice.
When i was younger i was sleeping at my aunties house when my antuies huband started trying stuff on with me he was doing weird hand gestures so i asked him what he meant n he said it doesnt matter. but me being young wanted to know what he meant so when i asked him he told me to go upstairs so i did( this is the part i left out when we went to court) i followed him up n he went to the toilet so i turned away so i couldnt see after he had finished he turned around with everything hanging out n he asked me to touch it.( even writing it now im in tears). i ran back down stairs where i was sleeping and curled up in my quilts and shut my eyes. he came down n asked wot was wong like nothing had hapened and he started stroking my head sayin the i shouldnt tell anyone wot had happened n i fell asleep. i was so scared and didnt know what to do. The nxt day i went home n confided in my sister who is 13months younger than me i told her wot had happened n she told me it happened to her n thats why she never stays anymore we cried to gether for ages n i said we should tell some1 but we were so scared that we couldnt. That nite i was told by my mum i had to stay there again as my mum had to work so as i came time to come in i ran to my mums friend house and was in tears the nxt day my mum asked me why i ran off form my aunties house so i told her everything she was so upset n crying with anger. so that was then im now 16 n am very warey of every1 but the other day my mum pointed out my aunties husband to her male friend who knows everything n later that nite battered him i know that a kick in the balls isnt enough for wot he did to me n my sister but it was summat but i dont know why i feel weird ive been cryin for the last 3 days n i dont know why can anyone else now how i feel. by confused xxxxx

Anonymous - Posted: 9/24/2007 7:15:50 AMComment ID: 19945- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

It's difficult to interfere with parents/families and children. children love their parents, and keep quiet about abuse more often to protect the parent. I wish that there was an organization that abusers (who obviously have a lot of problems, and know that they will lose everything if they try to get help) can go to anonymously get help for their own abused histories, low self - esteem issues. Children and parents should never be separated. The process of "saving" should be to save the entire family. Teaching the parents anger management, working through the parents' histories, and family counseling involving both parents and all of the children, and of course giving the abused children help with their budding issues. I'm only saying this after several years as a social worker. People don't want your help as much as you think they do. It's an uphill battle, or between a rock and a hard place. Your heart aches, but these people want to keep what little security they have, plus funding and space is always an issue as well, plus laws to protect civil liberties provide a lot of red tape to get around as well.

I don't know of anyone who hasn't been abused in one form or another. By siblings, parents, teachers, step parents, and others who assert themselves at the expense of others on a regular basis.

Anonymous - Posted: 10/16/2007 1:56:08 PMComment ID: 20634- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

Hey, paedophiles have rights too you know!! Dont look at me like that, its disgusting i know but sadly thats how it is. There are thousands of organisations out there.... NSPCC, CEOP, ITF, interpol, and the police, social services etc. no one cares.... can people remember the investigation into faceparty? it is still running... with that content, the police feel they have no powers to stop it. Can people remember the cases of paedophiles being rehomed near schools etc. (some actually opposite) because they need a home - why not else where? Like prison for example. You are thinking if they been freed why be in prison? Well prison isn't punishment its isolation... and thats what is needed.

Anonymous - Posted: 2/19/2008 6:22:14 AMComment ID: 28560- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

hi i agree with welshman and everyone else on this subject,i was sexually abused all through my childhood,2 where my mums husbands one was a neighbour,while one of my mums husbands was sexually abusing me in the bathroom i was then aged 4 ,my mum was in bed at the time in the next room,the abuser told me that if i told anyone what he was doing to me he would kill all my brothers,then he told me he would slit my mums throat in front of me and he would kill me that my eldest brother was being sexually abused of my mums beast of a husband,i held, i held a lot of trauma at such a young age for fear of my abuser carrying out his threats ,when at 8 years old, it came out my eldest brother was being abused also of my mums beast husband,my eldest brother told our other brother what was going on my mum got the police involved,all was being sorted out,then my mum sat us other kids down and asked us in order of age did anything happen to any of us,there are four of us sibblings my eldest brother not in the house at the time

MAREEDONNA - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 2/19/2008 7:15:48 AMComment ID: 28561- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

sorry to everyone on the above message it sent before i finished

MAREEDONNA - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 2/19/2008 7:22:03 AMComment ID: 28564- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

well my mum asked my other brother did anything happen to him he replied no,then my mum asked me i was only 8 i told her in graphic detail what had happened to me ,then my mum got up out of her chair and beat me up telling me i must have wanted her husband sexually,how sick eh, well where did that leave me?and nothing got any better when i told her when i was 12 it happened again i got the same response,social services where in and out of my life,but in the seventies when all this was going on,social workers only talked to my mum never the kids,the kids were forgot about and the parents listened to,shame on the system and not very much has changed since,ive also just found out over the last 2 years that my eldest brother has been sexually abusing my son from the age of my son being 6 until the age of 20 my son is autistic with the mental age of ten ,the same response again from my mum loads of verbals ,then i found out my son was being passed around by ten different peadophiles,and have aguess what they all got of because my son is deemed to disabled to testify putting all down to lack of evidence,even though a hopital examination proved my son was raped,i say castrate these beasts,there of no use to society,you wuold put a dog down for biting someone put these beasts down,this goverment is a farce helping all other countries out but doing nothing for thier own, charities on tv should not have to hold out a begging bowl for abused children whatever kind of abuse these poor souls have been through or are at present going through,shame on this goverment its thier place to protect children at all costs.

MAREEDONNA - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 2/19/2008 7:44:30 AMComment ID: 28567- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

Mareedonna you should shout your story from the rooftops. I cannot imagine the hurt and despair that you feel inside. And when you need Justice it is not there for you. I am so sorry.

Frances - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 2/19/2008 10:52:10 AMComment ID: 28580- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

Mareedonna, thank you for responding to my latest Post. I must have closed it at the same time. I didn't want to incite further bitterness on the site.

Frances - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 2/19/2008 10:55:29 AMComment ID: 28583- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

thankyou for messaging me back francis,the truth will all come out in my book,about my evil mum her partners,and all i went through only in the early days of writing about it ,its not that easy to write a book,your right to close the site down on that francis the better person you are for not letting this issue carry on,i admire you for that.

MAREEDONNA - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 2/19/2008 11:04:26 AMComment ID: 28587- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

You can report people of child abuse, but it seams like the article says. It takes forever for the authorities to do anything. It make you mad but all you can do is report them its up to the authorities to take action. If we as a community save one it is worth our effort.

Corgi12345 - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 2/25/2008 7:58:09 AMComment ID: 29239- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

This will be an interesting read then.....

http://www.facepartyexposed.com

I dont want to sound like I am advertising but it shows the governments lack of protecting children. It's alleged the biggest independent social networking website is run by .... someone who shouldnt be near children.

Anonymous - Posted: 5/24/2008 12:26:14 PMComment ID: 35711- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

Socail services in my country are a joke. I posted the story a couple weeks ago about Jane, who after being kidnapped by her father was actually put in his custody. We had a case recently where a little girl was adopted by a loving family because after she was born, her mother left her at the hospital for 3 months (after 2 weeks, it is considered abandonment). So this couple are really happy that they have their little baby, then the mother goes to the hospital, and says - I had my baby 3 months ago, is she still here. Guess what the courts do? Take the kid away from the adoptive parents and give her back to her mother, who now doesn't even see the child - she gave it to her sister. The adoptive parents have fought so hard to get her back, but in this country its all about the child being with the biological parents, whether they are competent parents or not. So often, the child is ignored because the parents rights seem to be above those of the children.
I work with children on a daily basis, and when I was still training for my position, I was freely allowed to hug the kids and give them a pat on the back when they did something right. As soon as I got my qualification, I was no longer allowed to touch them because it could be considered abuse. The one kid I work with, her father died a couple of years ago, and because he wasn't married to her mother, they were left with NOTHING. If we go on an outing, often she can't come along because she can't afford it. All I want to do is give her a hug, but the law won't let me.
I reackon in 10 years time there will be laws against parents hugging their kids. Soon we will be a world without any human contact.

Anonymous - Posted: 10/23/2009 3:44:58 AMComment ID: 56685- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

hello everybody! I am 14 years old and i don't know what to do. I really don't get on with my parents at all and when i do something bad they hit me, kick me, pull my hair and push me over ect. They threaten me all the time too. My dad criticises me and he told me i will never get a job because i am not clever enough. I have spoken to people at this thing called childline but i got scared and hung up. I don't know if maybe i am just overreacting because afterwards they come and act as if nothing is wrong so it makes me feel confused. Also they only usually get physical if i have done something wrong first for example if i answer back. They have been hitting me for all my life but only in the past 3ish years have they started the kicking, pushing and hair pulling ect. I have never told anyone before and i am not sure if i am over reacting or not.

Anonymous - Posted: 5/4/2010 1:30:13 PMComment ID: 61427- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

My young child is being abused as reported by social services. The abuser got angry and offensive to all professionals trying to help. The abuser is the father telling professionals he would not follow their advice. however a court has given him lots of contact all the same. All contact against two welfare reports. As his mum I try and pick up the peices but I cant protect him as I should. He is so precious and it kills me to see him being damaged. He looks to adults for help but I am not allowed and all other doors are closedto him. Are there other mums in this position?

Anonymous - Posted: 9/6/2010 3:03:46 PMComment ID: 64331- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment

Anon 64331, unfortunately there are other mums in that position. The Courts rarely deny contact to fathers, even when evidence has been produced by social services or CAFCASS that some level of abuse has taken place. I had to research for a project earlier this year and found statistical evidence that only 1.3% of contact applications had been denied even though there were over 250,000 contact applications where abuse was raised as an issue - that would show me that there are far too many mothers who have also shared your worries.

Do keep reporting any evidence of any abuse, social services and the Court can only act on evidence - keep reporting it and keep seeking legal advice. I once worked on a case where there had been Court appearances over 2 years and 7 reports were produced by social services and 3 by CAFCASS before I became involved, but eventually the Court did listen and the contact was stopped; it was very difficult and even though I had only been involved in the final 3 months of the case and had to provide 2 further Court reports and attended the Court for the final hearing ready to give evidence of my professional opinion, but I found counselling for the mother and the children to support them because they were exhausted and upset and I know that the mother found this to be some support (even though it didn't solve the problem, at least she felt that someone was there to listen and be there for her).

Don't see the doors as being closed. You have to keep fighting, although I know that it is tiring and makes you feel dispair. You might find it helpful to talk to one of the advisors on the NSPCC Helpline (0808 800 5000) or Parentline Plus (0808 800 2222).

If you want some more support or to share a bit more feel free to post a problem by using the 'Post Problem' button above. We're not supposed to reply to people's problems within other's posts but I didn't want you to feel that you hadn't been heard.

Belle - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 9/6/2010 4:38:26 PMComment ID: 64333- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment