Personal > Depressed - I Cant Cope (#16640)
My dad was diagnosed with an aneurysm a year and a half ago and was told there was nothing they could do. Six weeks ago it ruptured and he died on arrival at hospital. Although I knew about it, it was a big shock that he died so suddenly. as planned, my mum moved in with me and my family and shares a room with my daughter.

I thought we would be able to cope together but mum's not been well plus she's obviously down about my dad, I work full time and am trying to please everyone. I've suffered depression in the past and tried to take my own life and cant talk to my family because I know they're all watching for me trying again. I tried to reassure them that it wouldn't happen again as we lost a close friend to suicide in November and I know I couldn't put my family through that pain.

I really am not coping at all, I'm depressed all the time, I cry at work for no reason, I can't make mum happy, I'm upsetting all the family, I don't see the point in living although I need to stress I won't take my own life - I do however keep hoping for an end which I don't cause. I know that doesn't make much sense but I don't know how else to say it. I know I need help but don't feel I have anywhere to turn. The worst is - I'm supposed to be the strong one!!!

Please, if you have any advice I'm open to it tinker - 3/5/2010 5:11:46 PM - Country: United Kingdom - Close Problem Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment
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Comments & Replies

you need to take time off, and have a really good cry, believe me you will feel better afterwards, then listen to some really happy music (reggae is a good remedy for depression as i use it frequently), you clearly have alot of things going on, you need a holiday and so does your mother =) hope this helps =)
jah1991 - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 3/6/2010 6:58:15 AMComment ID: 60165- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this commentNominate This Reply For A Mug!
Your family know that you're depressed and they are worried about you and you can admit to them that you are depressed - they need to know. They need to stop relying on you to be the strong one and do everything and start picking up some slack and they can't do that if you keep pretending.

You need to go and see a doctor and tell them how you're feeling as well so that they can arrange some appropriate medication and/or counselling because this isn't just going to stop overnight, you do need to work through it.

If nothing else, you need to do this for your daughter because it will have an impact on her and you wouldn't want your daughter to feel the same - that everything was hopeless but that she couldn't tell anyone because everybody else is too busy and too depressed as well.

If you want a quick pick me up then take some time with your daughter and just have some fun - do something that she wants to do, whether it's painting, playing twister or plastering each other with make-up. It will make you laugh and for an hour or so you will feel like a completely different person. That's the wonderful thing about children - regardless of everything else they can still find the simple things in life fun.

You can't please everyone - so concentrate on yourself and your daughter a bit more. Do see the doctor about how you're feeling, it's honestly the answer.
Belle - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 3/6/2010 4:43:47 PMComment ID: 60167- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this commentNominate This Reply For A Mug!
thank you for help - i will make an appointment at the doctors on monday morning and i'll try the music Thank you for caring - tinker
Anonymous - Posted: 3/6/2010 5:48:24 PMComment ID: 60168- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this commentNominate This Reply For A Mug!
Hi there, first of all well done for taking in your Mother. However, I do feel that you have a life of your own and seem to be blaming yourself over the death of your father. You must sit down and talk to your Mother. She should be glad to be with her family and now she must start to get on with her life. Maybe she could look into getting into some hobbies outside of the home. Maybe she could help out a bit more with the grandchildren and stuff. You are a supportive, loving family but there has to be give and take. You can only do so much and you are obviously exhausted and over worked. Hope it works out for you
Anonymous - Posted: 3/6/2010 5:58:01 PMComment ID: 60169- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this commentNominate This Reply For A Mug!

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