Personal > Breakup (#16228)
My exboyfriend and I broke up around three weeks ago. I broke up with him because of issues within the relationship and I didn't feel apprectiated by him at all. It became long distance and since then he'd cancel plans and never told me how he felt about me because "I should just know". He picked out my physical flaws and told me how he wasn't happy with them.
Since then he has been through the cycle of blaming me ("if you really loved me you wouldn't have broken up with me") then begging me to get back with him ("I've changed, I will treat you how you deserve to be treated now.") and now blaming himself ("I hate myself for what I've done to you.") He is coming to visit tonight on the pretense that he would like us to get back together. I care about him deeply but I'm not sure if I can forgive him for taking me for granted in the first place.
Also, I saw an email (I know I shouldn't've been looking) between him and his sister where he said that he didn't know if he could forgive me even if we got back together for hurting him so much by breaking up with him. Is there any point in getting back together when we are both still angry with each other?
How can I ask him about this without him knowing I've read his email. He is the type of guy that will deny something (even if I know it is true) until I prove it with evidence (by saying I read the email). He has done this before where I've read texts between him and another woman & he's denied having sent them when confronted until I showed them to him on his phone and he was forced to admit.
I feel rubbish because I don't know what to do for the best. I just want us both to be happy. Louise - 2/8/2010 9:20:21 AM - Country: United Kingdom - Close Problem Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this comment
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Comments & Replies

No, I don't think that there is any point in you getting back together when you are both still so angry with each other. I also suspect from the tone of your post that you already know this.

He made you miserable, he picked on you, took you for granted and then blamed you and has tried a bit of emotional blackmail afterwards as the icing on the cake. Don't take him back, because you know from that e-mail (which fair enough, you shouldn't have read, but seeing as you have........) that he hasn't accepted what he did wrong and is blaming you for hurting him by breaking up with him.

However, just avoid the confrontation when he does come over. It's not worth showing him the e-mail and forcing him to admit it. He's been a g*t and he's not going to change overnight even if you do show him the evidence to prove your point. If he's going to come over then just use it as a chance to say that, in the nicest way possible, it didn't work out, but perhaps you could still be friends and you would like him to be happy but clearly he wasn't happy with you and you weren't happy with him.

C'est la vie! You'll find someone who loves you for who you are, despite your faults, one day. Until then, don't get tied down by Mr Misery Chops. I'd rather be alone and happy anyday than coupled up and miserable.
Belle - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 2/8/2010 11:40:22 AMComment ID: 59671- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this commentNominate This Reply For A Mug!
no way, definitely don't get back together with him!! he doesn't deserve you and he doesn't seem to be accepting responsibility for his actions. and he was texting another woman?? and its long distance?? and he doesnt appericiate you?? and he moans about you to his sister?? gee, sounds like a bit of a prick to be hoonest and i know you still care about him, but if you're still angry then this relationship is just not going to work. end of. and i know it must be hard to hear, but you're going to have to let go...and move on. he really doesnt desserve you
mayer - (Add As Friend) - Posted: 2/12/2010 4:49:47 PMComment ID: 59759- Offensive? Unsuitable? Report this commentNominate This Reply For A Mug!

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